My drive to understand motherhood was born simultaneously with my daughter.
Did I ever think I would love being a Mum? Not even in a-day dream.
Did I stress about slowing down a high fly career? Extremely
The arrival of my daughter has forever changed my world and the lens I see the world through. Before I became a Mum, I never felt my heart break into millions pieces when I couldn’t stop a cry, or that someone so small could have such profound influence on me. The love, the joy, the magic, and the fun I could have with such little creature!
I never imagined the extreme bonding and special relationship that could exist between a mother and a child BUT certainly I never imagined how overwhelmed and over worked having a child would be. If 80% of women in the UK become mothers at one point of time in their life, I wondered how come I had not been aware of the overwhelmed sense of transformation than a woman go through when they become a Mum.
Before I was a Mum, I had a shiny house all the time, unstained clothes, high heels, I wore suits for longer hours than pijamas in a day. I went to sleep as late as I wanted on weekends without worrying about getting up early on Saturday or Sunday. I was always the type to say I wanted to focus on career and enjoy my lifestyle. After all, being an expat myself, life was all about travelling, promotions and enjoying lifestyle.
Before I was a Mum, I had been working for many years helping Corporations going through transformation and transitions and now I wonder how come I was not aware of the deep transformation that occurs from womanhood to motherhood? At the end of the transition there are no big news on TV or the Financial Times about how successful the transition was. After all if 80% of woman become Mums at one point of time; what is all this transformation about it?
The loss of my professional identity, the arrival of a life threatening illness in my life just after my daughter was born, the restructuring of my relationship with my husband, the pressures of being “responsible and good” mother and the new attitudes of those close to me forced me to re-evaluate and to reflect on what was important for me in my life and my career.
I soon discovered that a big change needed to happen on me but I was afraid that if I took risk and fail, I would not be able to support my family….. but What was the risk of no changing? Did I want to live in a world of no energy? Did I want to live a life without being 100% present?
And this is what my two years old daughter told me about how to run my business and life … and what I have been doing since:
– Have Fun
– Be 100% present
– Follow the leader but be rebel at the same time
– Model for success
– Fall, Cry, Stand-up, Walk, Run, Smile and be ready for the next adventure to come.
Tibisay Vera works with Mothers, Expats and Executives to help them to navigate through the maze of change and transitions – At home and at work to align new priorities to their career. She spoke in the inspiring seminar “Project You” re-branding your identity at the Work and Family show last 21th February at Excel London.
Contact: [email protected]. Tel: +44 203 504 0027